Infertility & heartbreak

Let's be honest. 
There are a lot of days, weeks, months or even years when living with chronic illness that we just don't feel okay. 
The journey, the struggle is hard to find answers, to see doctors, to be told heart wrenching things you never thought you'd hear, and then live with your health struggles day in and day out, a seemingly never-ending cycle of shattered dreams and a broken heart. It seems almost impossible to hold onto hope for the future when the future can seem bleak at times.
Today I thought it was fitting to write about this because recently my dear husband and I found out we may not be able to have children. This... this is something I wasn't sure I could even write about. The heartbreak that comes with this news is unspeakable. 
There are honestly no words to describe the depth of pain my heart and my soul feel after learning this. My dreams growing up, and still are, to be a wife and a mother. To grow old with my husband and watch our children grow up, to love them, teach them and nurture them as they grow. Now, once again my dreams feel completely crushed. 
This is something I feel I just cannot accept. Part of me still holds onto hope for the possibility of being pregnant one day. Even though it may never happen. 
Maybe it's because this is a dream I just cannot let go of. I never thought it would be this hard to be a mother, but that's just my reality. 
If you are going through the same struggle, please feel free to comment or reach out to me. Having a community of people who understand the struggle is essential. 

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